Sunday, December 21, 2008

Home

Things are always weird when I’m at home
I enjoy myself, chill and sometimes roam
To places that are close and I remember dearly
Run into people who are different and often nearly
What I want to remember about arcadia the least
The reason I traveled to Irvine, far far east
Well not really that far, but at least away
Because today is the only day
I’m going to remind myself of what could have been
That crazy spring semester when there was no win
In sight for me, left and right
And my will was beat, I could not fight
With the way things were going I lost all sight
Of who I was, and all my might
Now I know that success does not define me
That the direction I go or what is behind me
Does not say anything about my values and my worth
That me is not discernable from my parents and my birth
That I am who I am and no one else can measure
That no one can take away my life, liberty or pleasure
Because these I hold strong and my pride I hold high
Because I know that I can touch the sky
You can judge me, and rank me on a scale
But I am Sarah, and I prevail.

[[I went to Starbucks yesterday, and got let down by a hs friend. That wasn’t that big of a deal – she apologized… but more was the people I saw at the Starbucks. It was the 3 year younger than me version of what I wanted to be in hs. In hs, I applied for this competitive team, and didn’t make it and it hurt. That same time, the April-May before my senior year, I was rejected from something else, and didn’t get elected to another thing. I kept suffering blows and I guess that visit to Starbucks reminded me of the hurt I felt, and how no matter how I tried in Arcadia I was never the best. Irvine has taught me otherwise… that my best is good enough. I wrote this poem while at the Starbucks to try to reaffirm who I am and a reminder that in college, I can’t think the way I did in hs… that my character is defined by my successes and failures. Even if I try out for something or run for something and don’t get it, I am still who I am]]

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Scared.

The future scares the shit out of me
Someone just knocked the spit out of me.
I’m sitting without balance, with nothing but fear
I don’t know my path, wherever I’m near
Is not close enough to where I wanna go.
The sacrifice is clear, but I don’t really know.